image
This photo is a painting by Ben Cab at the Ben Cab Museum

It has been a while since I got my fingers here. I was practically busy enriching my life. I am a highly ambitious person. I know exactly what I want and I will do everything to make my dreams into reality.

Life has not been easy for me. I grew up proving myself to my parents. I love them so much that I always wanted to make them proud. I was the pride of our family. Until I grew up to become a very stubborn lady. Because I always do what I want, I ended up making wrong decisions. Over and over again, I make wrong choices. I am the typical give-me-advice-but-wont-do-it person. My head is so hard that I don’t feel hurt when I slam it on a rock.

Years passed and I evolved into a woman who is independent and career-and-goal-oriented. I got married at an early age, 21. And started my own family. I am blessed to have a wonderful son who is the source of my inspiration. Marrying a man who loves you more than you love him is a dream come true. I know that he loved me so much and he would move mountains for me. He even promised me the sun, the moon, and the stars. And true to his words, he gave me the world.

Love made my world go round. It is a many splendored thing. I was lost in ecstasy and was drowned by his love. He loved me like I wanted him to. He loved me like everyday is the first time.

In all marriages, commitment is an essential ingredient. Slowly, our commitment had faded away. We drifted apart. Maybe I was too focused on succeeding in my career. Or maybe he was too busy accumulating wealth and too afraid for my success. While we were too fond of our personal goals, we found ourselves changing. These changes made us grow apart.

A relationship to last, I have learned, is needed to be nurtured and cherished. For a marriage to succeed, there should be a daily conscious effort of committing to each other. It is a vow to be regularly renewed. And we just woke up one day that the commitment is gone.

Whose fault is it? I think it’s both. It always takes two to tango. And marriage is never a one-way street.

If there is one thing that this marriage has taught me, it is that effort is always better than promises. I know I’m strong, but I am tired. There is no looking back.

Bitter experiences usually lead us to become better persons. My perspective in life has changed now. I learned to value my time and guard my health more. It is about time for me to repair the broken heart that he left inside of me.

And now I’m singing:
🎶 I know the other girlies wanna wear expensive things
Like diamond rings
But I don’t wanna be the puppet that you’re playing on a string
THIS QUEEN DON’T NEED A KING. 🎶 (to the tune of Sit Still Look Pretty by Daya)

Advertisements